I just want to talk about something which a lot of people don’t talk about which is the psychological effects of broken home on the children of the marriage. A lot of times children from broken marriages/homes are left in a world of their home .I want to share my story.
I am a product of a broken marriage, my parents separated when I was in SS1 that’s around 2007 due to the fact that my mother couldn’t have more children for my dad after me, hence my dad’s family as well as my dad wanted more children and since it wasn’t coming forth my mother was told to leave the home. She was just 34 years old then, whilst I was 14 years old.
I didn’t really understand what was going on then, all I knew was that my parents were fighting and somehow I was in the middle. My dad relocated to Ado Ekiti and married another woman whilst I was forced to stay with my mum in Okene as my dad will not take me along.
My mum will transfer all the anger of the broken marriage (my dad’s hurts) to me. She would look for the slightest opportunity to beat me, she would throw wooden chairs and anything in sight at me anytime. She would even curse me for what my dad did to her.
She remarried another man and had a child, my troubles worsen then as anything I do she would say “that is why I didn’t have another child after you for your father because you are a witch”. I would cry countless nights and pray for me to grow and just leave the house as I was in boarding school.
Anytime it’s time for holidays I would cry and weep because home was a place of hurt for me. I even attempted suicide once in school. My Dad never asked of me this period as there was phone to even communicate.
When I finished secondary school, none of my parents was at my graduation even though they were supposed to be on the high table as I was collecting some prizes. My mum’s excuse was that she just gave birth and her baby was too small to travel from Okene to Lokoja, whilst my Dad never gave an excuse why he couldn’t make it. It really hurt me as all my friends kept asking for my parents.
After secondary school, I tried getting admission to ABU Zaria in 2009 I got 96 in Post UTME but was denied admission for “political” reasons, I called my dad he did nothing about it. He couldn’t even come to Zaria even after I cried and begged that someone in the VC’s office was willing to help if he comes. That’s how one year of my life wasted.
The next year, after much persuasion from my maternal grand aunt, my dad agreed to send me to a private university. For my year one my mum never called me for over 3 months even though I left her house to go to school. It really hurt because when my friends talked about their mum, I won’t say anything as we didn’t even have a relationship as mother and daughter.
My dad would come to school once a semester or sometimes once in 2 semesters to see me and that how it was till I finished university.
Another very painful experience was on my convocation day, my dad said “I cannot come if your mum is going to be there” I had to lie that she wasn’t coming just because I wanted my both parents to be there. My dad saw my mum on the road from the convocation ground and left without saying a word to me. I don’t think I have forgiven him for making me cry on my convocation day till today.
For my call to bar ceremony, he specifically said that if he must be there my mum must not come. I cannot say he shouldn’t come because he has money (financial gains) and he crumbled my mum’s business when he left her so she doesn’t have the finance for me, in fact in my last years in school I had to be splitting my pocket money from my dad with her as she would call me crying that she is hungry that her new husband is beating her etc.
I had to start a business in school to assist my small pocket money of 10k which I shared with my mum.
In fact I can go on and on about the various NOT so pleasant experiences I had growing up. In fact I was forced to grow up.
My point of this write up is that BROKEN HOME affects children more psychologically than even physically.
As at now that I’m 25 years, I still wake up and cry over this issues.
I still feel a yearn to be loved unconditionally as I feel I wasn’t loved as a child. My parents can’t stand each other till now and I still think how it will be like when I eventually want to get married? It affected me as a person as I am such a loner, I don’t even keep friends for fear of betrayal.
Please and please if you are reading this article please try to make your home a good one, I never blame and I blame those girls that do runs and start carrying aristos and sugar Daddies. If you see such child like myself in your area please help them not to be a loner it really hurt…