As a young, single Ebira guy crossing the river Niger and Benue (Kogi State) for Schooling In the Northern Part of Nigeria, I was extremely curious about the dating life in the North (as a blogger though. Lols). After all, I’d watched my fellow guys charmed the hell out of Beautiful girls in Bars, Super Markets and in club in Ekiti where I live before relocating to Kogi State and later to Zaria.
I have compared dating Ebira Girls and Dating Yoruba girls In one of my previous articles you can check it out by clicking here.
It was early this year (2017) when I first landed in Kaduna State as a young- Ebira Boy, with warnings about Hausa girls: they’re high maintenance, my friends told me. I tried to brush this off—preconceptions are always dangerous when entering any sort of relationship. Still, when I met my first girlfriend in Ahmadu Bello University, Hausa girl from Kano State, I was immediately taken aback by an over arching obsession with status and money. She had a vision of the man she was going to marry: tall, dark, handsome, and a millionaire. After all, as she put it, “Bloggers don’t make a lot of money.” I wasn’t the guy that could spoon feed her, and I’m not tall and so handsome for now, so it ended.
But surely not all Hausa Girls thought all Guys had an endless supply of money? They weren’t all obsessed with fame, Looks and fortune, were they? Was Hausa culture really as shallow as my friends had warned?
I dated another Hausa Girl again this Girl! really awesome she is my course mate. Sadly, when we were suddenly thrust into a long distance relationship for like 3months, the reality set in that it was putting too much stress on our education. So with a heavy heart, it was the end of a fairytale love affair.
Since then, I have been comparing my time spent with this Hausa girls to those time I spend with my several Ebira Girlfriends, and if there’s one thing I can tell you, it’s that the stereotype of Ebira Girls being more well-mannered is actually true. Hausa girls—in my experience—carry themselves elegantly; sometimes so much.
Recently, I went on two dates in Zaria (Mr. Biggs in Samaru) within the space of a week, one with Ebira Girl, the other with a Hausa Girl. The Hausa eerily reminded me of myself—she ate quickly, washed her food down with juice, and generally wasn’t too concerned about how she might look to the outside world, let alone me.
The Ebira Girl, with seemingly impeccable etiquette, ate slowly and cautiously, ensuring the chicken she was munching on didn’t wrap around her big, pearly white teeth.
Only the contrary, Hausa girls have no too much of shame picking piece of meat out of their teeth on a date. It just took me a while to realize that this might have nothing to do with etiquette at all, but rather, it might be because Ebira women are more anxious than Hausa women. They worry more about their appearance, political correctness and how others perceive them. There is more emphasis on “keeping up appearances,” especially In Ahmadu Bello University where I have been Schooling for the past five months now.
Similarly, Hausa girls are much more lavish in their approach to life; and this includes the restaurants they expect to be taken to. Money and salary is brought up frequently, and name dropping is prevalent in a good portion of conversations, I think this is obvious because status is paramount in the north. Ebira girls, meanwhile, do not spend the same amount of money on themselves as Hausa girls, nor do they expect you to spend a lot on them.
Again Ebira Girls speak more of becoming independent while Hausa Girls believe Guys will be the person to provide for the family alone-an average Hausa man will agree to this.
In terms of sex to some of my Ebira Girlfriends sex is not too much of a big deal but to some it is and to Hausa Girls, they believe its only in Marriage, though it depends if the girl is religious. One of my course mate (Victoria) once told me that the most disappointing thing about relationship these days is; Guys thinking everything about dating has to do with sex, well to this objection I will not argue and will not agree at the same time, because such relationships depends on the primary Objective the relationship is placed upon (Marriage or just for the fun of it). When you are not ready for marriage! Why should you date in the first place.
The biggest lesson I’ve learned, is that we Ebira Men have set the bar so low, taking our women for granted. I’m astounded by the Ebira men I have seen, who shamelessly approach women with no respect, like drooling dogs. Hausa women expect a man with top notch etiquette—an almost forgotten trait here. If I could teach Ebira women one thing, it would be to raise their expectations.
As I approach my birthday, one thing has become clear: if I could combine the best quality of Ebira and Hausa Girls, In just one Girl she might just be the one I will date and get Married to.
I think I should drop my pen at this junction.
I have written about 6 Relationship Things You Should NEVER Post About on Social Media.i tink you should check it out.
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Composed and Written By;
Yakubu Binuyaminu Adeiza,